I love London. It’s a beautiful city, filled with adorable nooks and crannies. So when you first move to London, you’ll experience a glorious honeymoon period. But all good things must come to an end. Enjoy the romance while you can. Here are 8 things about London that, I promise, will inevitably come to annoy the shit out of you.
- The rain. Rainy days sound romantic, but the reality is more of a mist/veil of eternal dampness that cannot be bested by an umbrella. You will never look presentable at work, and you will begrudgingly accept this.
- Narrow, tall apartments. The period features look great on Instagram and the wooden floors will make you want to cry from happiness, but it’s really not worth having to sleep in a broom closet. This is a lesson you will learn with time.
- East London coffee shops. Once the novelty of buzzwords like “independent”, “small scale” and “handcrafted” wear off, you’ll become sick of coffee that tastes like fruit juice and overpriced artisanal cheese sandwiches. Trust me.
- Cobblestones. They give the city old-world charm, and they are ever so European. But the city turns into a health and safety hazard if you’re walking faster than 2km/hour. You will learn to embrace weak ankles that are shadows of their former selves.
- Gastropubs. Rustic decor and beer gardens will draw you in. It’s like a pub, but polished! But one day you’ll look around, notice that the menu is identical to that of the last three places you’ve visited, and realise you just paid £20 for what is, essentially, a deep fried fish and some sliced potatoes.
- Pop ups. Hip concept with a whiff of exclusivity, great for keeping overheads low. But that’s about where the advantages end. You’ll quickly get tired of shops trying to induce FOMO for the sake of profit.
- Notting Hill market. It’s adorable, and you’ll squee at all the cute shops and stands that line the streets. However, you’ll one day come to understand that they’re pawning cheap crap to tourists. Don’t fall for it.
- Black cabs. They’re iconic, and you’ll find them really cool until you find yourself squatting awkwardly while paying your fare. Or until a creepy cab driver tries to take you off your route. Whichever happens first.
But despite all this, you’re never really going to leave, are you? London is just too full of excitement and opportunity. So when living in the Big Smoke, do as the Londoners do – repress everything and stare blankly at the patterned upholstery on the Tube. The feeling of annoyance will pass – for now.
What do you love about London – and what do you love to hate?